Reverse Stockholm Syndrome & Quagmires

Last night I received a "Morale Call" at 8:32 p.m. Pacific Time. That's right, Major Crab is experimenting with his various calling options to find the preferred connection at the cheapest cost. (Guess he noticed with a mighty *gulp* the Chase Visa tally for last month). This option was phone-via-broadband from his Riverside Villa. Now that's living in style.

Once again, the J-Crabs beat my in-bed fanny to the phone and regaled Dad with items of pre-teen interest and tales of WoodWorking feats. Jack said, "This is a camp you would be interested in, Dad." Jamie, the detail provider, summarized the different projects. Naturally, everyone (excepting Mean Mom) was quite enthusiastic about the 2 backscratchers created and brought into the Sand Castle on Tuesday. When pressed for why Jack's has 3 spikes while Jamie's has 5 (and suspecting it had to do with having attention and following directions--with Jamie doing so and Jack not quite so much), we were informed by Jamie that "Mine is a more detail-oriented backscratcher." (Yeah, and the woodworker is a more detail-oriented creature). Mind you, the backscratchers look like some type of numchucks-on-a-baton and do indeed find themselves used for nefarious purposes like whacking of siblings and annoying nudges of the maternal one, both of which misdeeds are accompanied by gales of laughter.

It was a joyous little conversation until the tide turned...yep, one prod too many and one near-ER trip for Charlie and WHAMMY, it wasn't fun anymore.

This leads me to observe a kind of bizarre Stockholm Syndrome that seems to be overtaking our family.

According to Wikipedia, "Stockholm syndrome is a psychological response sometimes seen in an abducted hostage, in which the hostage shows signs of loyalty to the hostage-taker, regardless of the risk in which the hostage has been placed. The syndrome is named after the Norrmalmstorg robbery of Kreditbanken at Norrmalmstorg, Stockholm, Sweden, in which the bank robbers held bank employees hostage from August 23 to August 28 in 1973. In this case, the victims became emotionally attached to their victimizers, and even defended their captors after they were freed from their six-day ordeal. The term Stockholm Syndrome was coined by the criminologist and psychiatrist Nils Bejerot."

Yes, the warden, presumed by those outside the moat to be in power, is at the utter mercy of the inmates. In fact, I find myself feeling serious gratitude for any occasion within which the boys -- and the J-Crabs in particular -- do not make me suffer. At this point, if they say "yes, mom" to a request, my Pavlovian response verges on a sudden burning desire to go right out and buy them a Wii...heck, a Wii with every known contraption (including the numchucks) and available game! A Wii for each of my fine obedient sons!!! For example, were they to both eat their dinners, take their respective showers, and actually pick up the wet towels and dirty clothing afterward, I might have a compulsion to flee the house to fetch a Wii AND a Giant Plasma FlatScreen.

But I digress...the brief (3 or 4 minutes) spousal dialogue was interrupted by Jack's saying that our family was in a "quagmire". Yes, he did say that. Of course, Sand Crab and I busted out laughing at him (as the Reverse Stockholm Syndrome was temporarily suspended due to moral support from Baghdad). I believe the quotes-in-relative-unison (I beat Ben only because of the time delay) were:
"Jack, that quagmire is bringing home the bacon and sending you to camp!" (me)
"Son, that very quagmire is boosting your standard of living right now." (Ben)