OOO: "[School's] Got Talent!" Editorial remarks in italics.

A new reality show that's curling my toes and causing steam to accumulate under my admittedly-ill-fitting shell.

The school in question is Jamie's elementary school.

The talent in question is dubious at best.

To the over-foreshadowed story. It's a long one so settle in with a beverage of your choice and a salty snack. Or combine the taste sensations into a salty/sweet hot beverage available from Starbucks!

A week ago (Tuesday, May 19th), Jamie returned to school after a protracted absence. Tuesday evening, the Castle received a charming recorded message from Jamie's principal announcing that the following day (Wednesday, May 20th), would be the [school]'s Talent Show.

Now the Crab Queen owns most of her flaws, including but hardly limited to the following:
* Prone to Germaphobia;
* Expectation that children whom must be presented by laws of the Great State of California for compulsory education will actually derive educational benefit from the time crablets are under the instructional control of the School District; and
* Worsening cynicism and disdain for the crazy-shell notion to equally reward all children whether effort or achievement is maximized or not.

When the Crab Queen learned that (and I quote):

"The Talent Show will begin at 8:30 a.m. for first through third grader performances and will continue with fourth and fifth graders performing beginning around 9:30 a.m.

Due to circumstances beyond our control, the Talent Show was not able to be scheduled for evening hours."

one must imagine the reaction was not terribly positive.

By the time I had de-spun enough to reply, the Castle had received another voice recording of the Principal chastising me for Jamie's absence that day.

So I e-mailed:

Dear Principal ~

The purpose of this correspondence is to respond to your voicemail message of this morning, regarding Jamie's absence of even date.

I received a phone call via ConnectEd last evening from an you explaining how this morning (already an early-dismissal day -- meaning 12:00 dismissal) would include a mid-morning "Talent Show". I understood your message to delineate that this "talent show" includes one segment with first through third grade performers and a second for the fourth and fifth grade performers. It was not clear whether students attended only the session featuring their same-age peers or whether they'd watch both. You mentioned that "due to circumstances beyond our control, this event could not occur in the evening." I presume that you did not plan or suggest such an event and that the original plan was to hold this event in the evening. I know that the last thing you would want is to disappoint students and families who looked forward to this event. (Our family's firsthand experience with other elementary schools' "talent shows" suggests that these type of assemblies allow only the departing class to audition and perform and the event occurs during the final week of school).

My son's siblings were treated for the "swine flu" before Jamie became ill himself with flu-like symptoms; he then suffered a secondary infection. Because of guidance I received from the District and our health providers, Jamie missed three weeks of class and was only cleared to return to Sessions yesterday. Given Jamie's protracted absence, he missed the information about try-outs and rehearsals. Your phone message was our family's sole notice of the event; moreover, the school's website (maintained I realize by volunteers) has no reference to a "talent show". So, on Jamie's second day of school, I understood from your message that at least one-third of his instructional day would be forfeited to an event originally contemplated to occur outside the school day.

Given that routine instruction has been interrupted by standardized testing and that the District has seen higher than usual student absence rates, it is my opinion that students deserve a few more days of education before we celebrate the "end of school". We have 37 weeks of school and to wind down with 10% of the year still to unfold strikes me as premature.

Perhaps most importantly, in the midst of a supposed pandemic, I think intentionally gathering large groups of students, parents, staff, and family members into an enclosed space, having children sit on the floor en masse for such an assembly (where many are within that 6' arc of an uncovered cough or sneeze) would not receive a ringing endorsement from Dr. (District's Medical Consultant). This event is hardly a promotion or graduation and, I believe, ought to have been scheduled for an "optional" time. I suspect you share my opinion that this is neither standards-based instruction nor the best way to limit the spread of viral infection. In light of recommendations on reducing the spread of infection, I interpreted the Connect Ed message as your effort to communicate that families not wishing their children to participate should keep their children home.

I may be the sole parent who is chagrined that end-of-school activities have commenced on May 20th to supplant regular instruction for students who already receive fewer days of instruction as well as fewer hours per day of instruction than the national average of their peers. I elected to keep my son at home so as to avoid contracting yet another virus with the understanding that this minimum day offered minimal educational benefit to him.

Very truly,
Crab Queen


Dear Mrs. Crab Quen (sic, she did omit a letter in my surname),

I understand that your family does have extenuating circumstances regarding health related issues. Our district and we at Sessions have taken precautions to ensure that all of our students are being cared for during the school day. Teachers have been instructed to have students wash their hands after recess, before lunch and after lunch. In addition, the teachers have brought in special hand sanitizers into their classrooms to ensure that all of our student’s hands are kept clean. Any student with flu-like symptoms has been and will be sent home. Our school nursing division and the district spokespeople have sent out regular communications to give us an update on the latest information. I have not been told by anyone at the central office level that schools are not allowed to have assemblies due to the concerns for the swine flu. At this point, the swine-flu appears to be in control and that there have been no more instances of school sites having cases diagnosed with this illness. Sessions has not had any cases of diagnosed swine-flu this year.

One of the elements of our International Baccalaureate Program is to bring student action into the school as a result of their learning. The IB organization also requires that we have a well-balanced curriculum where students take on their own learning. As a result, there is an expectation that children share their learning with others in the school setting. Talent Shows are an excellent way for students to showcase this learning opportunity and celebrate their skills. Many of our students participate in the after school programs, our weekly music class and other methods of instruction. The Talent Show has been a long standing tradition at this school before I came on board three years ago and it has been a favorite for the families, the students and the staff. Our Talent Show is not organized as an end of the school year activity signaling that the school year is over. We do tend to have it in May each year because we want our students have plenty of time to prepare. June is typically reserved for field trips, special educational activities and events. For example, on June 5th we are having a World Affairs Day where grade levels will be working together to study a world topic. In Jaime’s grade level, the students will be studying about alternative forms of energy. Also, the students will be listening to a panel discussion regarding education around the world and what access children have to obtain an education. We believe that these activities enhance and enrich the learning of our students. If you would prefer Jaime (Remember the erroneously-spelled award certificate? I think we have found the source, our very own Miss Spelling Bee Champion!) to sit in the nurse’s office during the Talent Show, we will be happy to accommodate you. (GMK, as I read this aloud, exclaimed, "Write her back: "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.") Just to let you know, the Talent Show date was incorrect. The show is scheduled for tomorrow morning.

(No closing required because manners are optional whereas talent shows are mandatory)

Principal

Dear Principal ---:

Thank you for taking the time to reply to my prior e-mail.

It is disappointing that the ConnectEd recording provided me with inaccurate information. I understand from a neighbor that some families received an e-mail alerting them to the corrected information; sadly, our family did not receive such a message. I will visit with the school office about why our e-mail was omitted from that transmission.

I am not in agreement that it is appropriate to banish Jamie (spelled correctly, but bit my typing fingers to the nubs to avoid a blatant, snarky explicit correction) to the Nurse's Office, where he would be in close contact with any identifiably ill children and still not deriving educational benefit from the activity. In the absence of a reasonable alternative to attending a "talent show" and with the perspective that Jamie (they call this "repeated review and drill" in the Special Factors page of an IEP) ought not be "punished" for having chronic health problems, I will keep him home this morning, contact the school office to learn when his class will resume classroom-based instruction, and time his arrival accordingly.

Very truly,
CQ

I didn't even point out the logical flaw in her IB argument as the IB program is new since her arrival and the Talent Show predated her arrival. Pick ONE: either we do the Talent Show for the IB program or we do it because of tradition.

But the VERY best part of this tale occurs on Thursday. Thinking that 10:45 a.m. is a safe time to show up with Jamie, I present him in the office only to learn that the fourth and fifth graders had JUST begun and that it would be another hour -- Did I want Jamie to wait in the, oh yeah, NURSE'S OFFICE?

I smiled, tightly, and took Jamie home until after lunch.


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I still question what possible "talent" a reasonable person would expect to be shared by a primary-grade student and whether viewing such "talents" provides any benefit to the student spectators.

Next Crabby stop: The "School Improvement Officer".