As Promised: Trial by School Nurse

Now all the sand-encrusted Castle followers know that the Crab Queen is nothing if not crabby and germaphobic. For example, when the CQ suspects illness is brewing, the crablet stays home and under observation (unless the crablet has proven himself an accurate reporter of symptoms). Moreover, CQ has a strong track record of availing crablets of medical care and not just ignoring problems. Quite the opposite, really.

And this Crab Queen does wish that other family's castle-rulers acted likewise so that fewer bugs would attack the Castle's inhabitants. That Fantasy of Societal Responsibility will have to be the subject of some future posting. We return to the story at hand.

Fact: Charlie-boy has been out of school since Monday, April 27th.

Fact: CQ communicated to his school that he'd been tested for "swine flu" and had begun a course of Tamiflu (TM). CQ also communicated that his rapid-influenza testing had been negative.

Fact: District policy was any Tamiflu-taker/person with swine flu symptoms must remain out of school for SEVEN (7) days and until the person was fever-free for at least 24-hours.

Fact: Charlie's swine flu swab was "misplaced."

Fact: Charlie's swine flu result was "found" and reported as negative on Thursday, May 7.

Fact: District policy per website is that anyone with a fever of 100.0 or higher needs a doctor's release with a specific diagnosis (other than swine flu) provided in order to return before the 7-day period.

Fact: Charlie's school's one-day-a-week school nurse decided in her "professional judgment" to bar anyone who had any symptoms from returning at any point until a doctor's note was provided to the school.

Let's reread that, shall we?

A. My word that his tests were negative was insufficient.
B. His absence from school for 14 days was insufficient.
C. The signed consent in possession by the school that would allow the nurse to call and obtain information from the Naval Hospital was insufficient.
D. The fact that public health authorities have done a 180 and begged families to NOT bring children with symptoms to waiting rooms unless they are very ill was irrelevant. The fact that all families with schoolage children do not have doctors or may not wish to incur expenses dealing with simple viral infections that do not require special medical intervention is absent consideration.
E. My personal experience that other District schools were executing policy in accordance with policy (vice "professional judgment") -- namely that Jack's Middle school, Tim's middle school AND non-public school, and Jamie's elementary school were NOT requiring notes made no impact on this nurse's position.
F. The circumstances in which, for the CQ to obtain such a note, would require either:
(1) going back to the Germ Zone and waiting around for people to write the lab results on a "prescription pad"; or
(2) calling the appointment line, learning that the CQ is "number 17 in queue and your call will be answered in the order it was received", and then leaving a message for a provider with the caveat that the provider has "72 hours to respond", and then hope-against-hope I'm around to receive that call.

On Day 14, I lost my patience. And did what any crabby mother (in day 16 of held-hostage-in-a-too-small-castle) would do:

REBELLED.

First, I called my BFF (the school secretary at Charlie's school) and curried love with her. Found out that the office staff thought the note thing was ridiculous. Left message for principal.

Next, I intended to tattle. Sadly, all numbers to Health & Wellness for the Central Office were not functioning.

So I researched. I had already confirmed with Jack's school nurse that no note was required after day seven of absence. I thought "maybe elementary schools have different guidance" so I called Jamie's school nurse -- conveniently enough, Thursday is her one-day-a-week at Jamie's school Better yet, two senior nurses were there. One of them did a verbal eye-roll at the "professional judgment" nonsense and offered to call their Queen of the Nurses (my job titling, not hers).

Sure enough, I received a call within 30 minutes from the school nurse, who snarkily stated that Charlie could return after all without a note. But that it remained her professional judgment that she should be able to require a note. By this point, I'd learned that she was retiring next month and just breathed through her snarkiness and murmured, "Thank you for the phone call."

And then who should return with Jamie, Amoxicillan, and a sandy note from a grumpy doctor stating Charlie may return with his negative H1N1 result ?! GMK of course.

Crab Queen, OUT.