From Aunt Patty Liz -- Website Recommendation

Sand Castle visitors already know that the Queen really likes her cake. Preferably, in plentiful quantities. Store-bought. And, since you're asking, buttercream.

So one of my exceptional sisters-in-law e-mailed me (and some others) about a pretty clever blog. The author might very well be an underground Patty.

There are some bona fide wrecks on the site. If you need a giggle today, you may want to check this one out. http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/
"When Professional Cakes Go Horribly, Hilariously Wrong"

Here's just a sampling of the clever Underground Patty's discussion to whet your appetites:


"Get Me Holly Hobbie's Head on a Platter!"


I guess its the camera angle, but every time I look at this cake I see a baby head wearing a giant bonnet. And yes, a body-less baby would be a little disquieting, but I think you could make the case that a Baby Burrito is just as bad. What's wrong with a Baby Burrito, you ask? Several things. Allow me to list them for you:

1) Ok, first off, check out the baby's expression. It's no easy feat to achieve a look that's both dead-eyed and horrified at the same time, but this baker just has those kind of skills.
2) Next, try to imagine the position the baby's body would have to be in to have his (it's supposed to be a boy - more on that in a minute) chin lying flat on the table and his body stretched out behind. Who needs that pesky spinal cord anyway, am I right?3) Baby is packing some serious junk in the trunk: check out that badonk-a-donk rump!
4) There are no arms. Which, come to think of it, might explain reason #1.


Part of why I love all your e-mail submissions, folks, is that I have the option of grilling you for more details. In this case, I had to ask for a little more explanation regarding the, er, display. Wrecks reader Katie explained that the blue & white blanket was added to, and I quote, "boy it up", since the general consensus was that the cake was too feminine. And that black thing? That's a duck whistle. Yeah. It was also added to be, and again I quote "another signifier of the male gender". Yeah - a duck whistle.

AND

"Ow."

I'm pretty sure I just burst a blood vessel in my right eye, looking at this.

[squinting] From what I can see, this appears to be a pimp-mobile on a suicide run through a radioactive river of blood - only it's a radioactive river of blood with jaunty blue outlining.

I love the extra cupcake stuck on the side, too: what's that supposed to be? A pit stop?

If you want to give yourself a migraine, try reading what it says in front of the car. Don't see any writing? Look closer. No, closer. Let's see...I think it says...

Dang it!

There went the other eye.


AND perhaps my favorite for its simplicity:

"Cake-Wreckin' Under-Achievers, Unite!"

You know how it is for some of these grocery-store bakery decorators: some days they're just not reaching their full cake-wrecking potential. On those days they give their airbrush, questionable design choices, and horrific color palettes a rest, and instead produce a simpler, quieter kind of wreck. A wreck that says, with world-weary disdain, "Hey, I make $7 an hour. Deal with it."

Tell my fellow blogger the "Crab Queen" sent you. :-)