Several Patties convened for a Change-of-Command (Patty Kiki's husband). It was a very nice ceremony with good eats following. For the second straight such occasion, I was referenced (this time without the commentary about my obvious condition) much to my surprise and joy.
Patty Grace outfitted me in a wide-brim hat that not only detracted from the potential party olive look of a black dress on an ellipsoid figure but also created an aura that all I was missing was my mint julep!
It was a mini-reunion of Ben's past-CO's. His commodore from when he had the Hurricane was present. I donned my massive, maternity big-girl panties and spoke pleasantly and respectfully on not one but two occasions. His CO from the Antietam was also there and we had a very nice catching-up conversation without the need for any special, secret undergarments.
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Alert the Media: Mrs. Crab Issues Slight Retraction/Minor Correction/Admission of Perhaps Hyperbole.
APC does not own a registered or unregistered firearm and, hence, did not technically-speaking force me to sort children's toys items at "gunpoint" per se.
However, if you saw her eyes and heard her tone of voice, you might suspect that she would be at least CAPABLE of acquiring a firearm on short notice and gesturing in a definitive manner with it.
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Jack Pole-Vaults to the Top of the "Most Expensive Child" List
So, apparently in the year 2008, consulting with an orthodontist at age 12 is considered a little "late". Oops.
Be advised that Jack has a jaw that is more than 4 standard deviations awry in 3 areas of measurement. Yahoo. He will be getting a head device (high pull), an upper-palette expander, a lower lingual holding arch, and braces on the four upper front teeth for "Phase I" of 2-phase treatment. This phase is just to prepare the jaw structure, not to actually move teeth. All this for the super-fun price of about $3,500, which does not include Phase II pricing (when Jack will get braces). (I am thinking this is the least-painful (for me!) way of passing this information to the Sand Crab, who -- like the Missus -- did not require such interventions for health and cosmetic appeal). Then again, we could give Jack the "Ice Man" flat-top and see if that would distract the eye from the apparently-awry profile?
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As we sprint to the finish line of gestation, Charlie ...
SPIKES a fever.
103.3 with minimal obvious symptoms.
Perfect timing. Thankfully, APC and GMK are here with their combination eyes to watch him and mouths to mock my admitted hypervigilance.
1 comment:
$3500?????
"Alex, I will take Door #3. An extra combat tour in Afghanistan!!!"
Krikey.
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