This just in.

In the first week of 2009, we have already suffered our first Toilet Mishap of the New Year! This morning, Jack approached me with the tried-but-true, "Um, the toilet is acting weird" with a quick "Tim was the last guy in there".

An expert in the burgeoning field of Bowl-Plunging, I isolated the problem and attacked it with vigor. Initially, all looked okay.

Noon rolled around and as I directed Charlie to the "potty", it became clear -- or murky -- that all was not, definitely NOT, okay.

Another bout with the plunger and I threw up MY HANDS (c'mon people, bear with me) and dialed 1-888-HELP ME NOW (aka, Maintenance) and pled with the telephone rep to make it a "hot ticket". She informed me that they have 24 hours and I played the autism card. In under an hour, my beloved Alejandro had reported to duty.

Initially, Alejandro, too, thought his plunging skills would be up to the task. Within minutes, his shoulders sagged and he brought in the big gun: the auger.

After a long quarter-hour, he looked like all was lost -- and held up various bath toys in the vicinity, shaking his head, and said, "Maybe one of these went in?" I spazzed (as Alejandro is accustomed to viewing) and suggested that perhaps one of Charlie's famous Fling-the-Undies-into-the-Potty had gone un-fished out. He looked even more darkly at the toilet and said, "I'll try one more time but then I'll have to take out the toilet."

[More spazzing although somewhat restrained as APC was on the phone, trying to provide some coaching about the need to remain calm.]

At last the sound of "Eureka" -- which while I do not know the Spanish word, I recognize the lilt of spirit -- and learned:

It was soap.
Ivory (TM).
Probably at least 1/2 a bar.

Let me assure you, it was a mess anyway.

The bright side is that all four potential criminals will live to see another day, as will our poor abused porcelain commode.

p.s. I find it most ironic to recall the slogan for Ivory Classic Soap (TM): "The Soap so pure it floats!"