Wednesday, July 2, 2008
NEWSFLASH!
As an early anniversary gift to the Sand Crab, be it known that his Honda CR-V traversed an actual "gentle-touch" carwash this morning, 1000 Pacific Time, at a cost of $6.
Op-Ed Guest Blogger: Bikini Etiquette 101
This Just In and Just in time for the summer!
Like HeadButler, sometimes a little outside perspective is warranted:
The key to looking good in a bathing suit is wearing it at a retirement community pool. We just spent the afternoon at "DBV North." The facilities are incredibly nice. They have a kids' pool for the grandchildren. Bebe rode in an inflatable boat and kicked and splashed and had the time of her life. It was terribly cute.
It wasn't until later in the afternoon when more people started showing up that things got distressing. There are many people in this world who should not wear a bathing suit, let alone a bikini. (**Ed. Note: This statement most assuredly applies to the Crab Queen, particularly in my current state).
In general, if you are qualified to live in a retirement community, I think you should be banned from wearing a bikini. And if you do not have enough common sense to enforce this rule on your own then you should be banned from the community. (**Ed. Note: Patty is already on a co-op board and will certainly run on this platform, say, 25-years from now when seeking to implement such common sense policies in her own retirement utopia).
On the other hand, when one is 20 lbs overweight (** Ed. Note: Patty exaggerates, making her a prime choice for guest blogger in the Castle) and in a bathing suit for the first time in 2 years there is comfort in being 25 years younger than everyone else!
We had so much fun that we're going back tomorrow.
Like HeadButler, sometimes a little outside perspective is warranted:
The key to looking good in a bathing suit is wearing it at a retirement community pool. We just spent the afternoon at "DBV North." The facilities are incredibly nice. They have a kids' pool for the grandchildren. Bebe rode in an inflatable boat and kicked and splashed and had the time of her life. It was terribly cute.
It wasn't until later in the afternoon when more people started showing up that things got distressing. There are many people in this world who should not wear a bathing suit, let alone a bikini. (**Ed. Note: This statement most assuredly applies to the Crab Queen, particularly in my current state).
In general, if you are qualified to live in a retirement community, I think you should be banned from wearing a bikini. And if you do not have enough common sense to enforce this rule on your own then you should be banned from the community. (**Ed. Note: Patty is already on a co-op board and will certainly run on this platform, say, 25-years from now when seeking to implement such common sense policies in her own retirement utopia).
On the other hand, when one is 20 lbs overweight (** Ed. Note: Patty exaggerates, making her a prime choice for guest blogger in the Castle) and in a bathing suit for the first time in 2 years there is comfort in being 25 years younger than everyone else!
We had so much fun that we're going back tomorrow.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Forgot to mention yesterday...
Loving River of Peace (aka, Best Mom Ever) as part of her Love & Candy Day with Jamie went to the Post Office, battled lines, customs forms, and many-many slow-moving folks to mail a CARE PACKAGE full of Father's Day joy to the Sand Crab.
By slow-moving folks, know that I mean those people who haggle about whether to get 1 or 2 sheets of stamps and then, having opted for 1 -- no, 2 -- well, make it 1 after all because I still have to go fill up that gas tank and you all just know the price at the pump is a real stretch right now, hmmmm...should I go with the liberty bell or the botanical. Well, how's long do you think they'll have this very botanical available? Maybe better get 2 so I can save a few of these...they shore are pretty. Are you sure you don't have the 2006 Elvis ones back there somewheres?
Meanwhile, I am shifting from foot to foot and giving Jamie sidelong glances as he crinkles up that little Jamie chin knowingly. Because he knows if he just hangs in there long enough, with a little help from Mr. Indecisive, Love & Candy Mom may become
Totally Inappropriate, Impatient Post Office Patron Mom (who has no choice but to stand in the stupid line because of course my husband in the combat zone needs to have pristinely cleared inbound mail...because some wife might send something DANGEROUS...more hazardous than mortars and other things that go boom by day and night) and is primed to go bombastic.
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Lesson Learned 1: Pacific Beach is full of ding-bats. Better choice to go to Linda Vista or Clairemont for care packages in the future.
Lesson Learned 2: Humorless Postal employee (sorry, Grandpa!) does not react positively to eye-rolling during the quiz bowl-a-thon about flammable, combustible, fragile, etc. qualities of package contents. (Mind you, I'd litanized in grand detail so found the process rather time-consuming and I was trying to help those behind me in line rally by shaving time off the per-customer service minutes). You'd think I was at the airport dealing with the TSA!
By slow-moving folks, know that I mean those people who haggle about whether to get 1 or 2 sheets of stamps and then, having opted for 1 -- no, 2 -- well, make it 1 after all because I still have to go fill up that gas tank and you all just know the price at the pump is a real stretch right now, hmmmm...should I go with the liberty bell or the botanical. Well, how's long do you think they'll have this very botanical available? Maybe better get 2 so I can save a few of these...they shore are pretty. Are you sure you don't have the 2006 Elvis ones back there somewheres?
Meanwhile, I am shifting from foot to foot and giving Jamie sidelong glances as he crinkles up that little Jamie chin knowingly. Because he knows if he just hangs in there long enough, with a little help from Mr. Indecisive, Love & Candy Mom may become
Totally Inappropriate, Impatient Post Office Patron Mom (who has no choice but to stand in the stupid line because of course my husband in the combat zone needs to have pristinely cleared inbound mail...because some wife might send something DANGEROUS...more hazardous than mortars and other things that go boom by day and night) and is primed to go bombastic.
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Lesson Learned 1: Pacific Beach is full of ding-bats. Better choice to go to Linda Vista or Clairemont for care packages in the future.
Lesson Learned 2: Humorless Postal employee (sorry, Grandpa!) does not react positively to eye-rolling during the quiz bowl-a-thon about flammable, combustible, fragile, etc. qualities of package contents. (Mind you, I'd litanized in grand detail so found the process rather time-consuming and I was trying to help those behind me in line rally by shaving time off the per-customer service minutes). You'd think I was at the airport dealing with the TSA!
Charlie (& Jamie) go to Chuck E. Cheese B-day Party...
for our neighbor, Kai's 5th b-day.
It was a bit of a sensory overload for Charlie, between the strobe-effect lighting and the many, many choices. He did try a few things but surprisingly balked at the Bob the Builder ride as well as that oh-so-threatening mini-carousel. Wouldn't touch the pizza either. Bizarre child, but he hung in there about 1 hour and 10 minutes so kudos to him.
Managing to pedal the helicopter-bicycle up...let's hear it for Physical Therapy!
Entranced by the construction flinging token game.
Catching "popcorn" (ping-pong balls) in a pot.
As close as he'd get to the Beloved Bob the Builder (TM) and Scoop (the bulldozer):
Jamie was drenched in sweat as he spent his 28 tokens exclusively on the basketball speed-shooting game. Made up for Charlie's pizza consumption, too!
Postscript: This evening, while Jack and I were at his first private Fr. horn lesson, Charlie waited until our sitter was diverted to Tim to snag the last (and his second) cupcake. Jamie was most aggrieved, as the Crab Who Didn't Get a Cupcake Tonight.
It was a bit of a sensory overload for Charlie, between the strobe-effect lighting and the many, many choices. He did try a few things but surprisingly balked at the Bob the Builder ride as well as that oh-so-threatening mini-carousel. Wouldn't touch the pizza either. Bizarre child, but he hung in there about 1 hour and 10 minutes so kudos to him.
Managing to pedal the helicopter-bicycle up...let's hear it for Physical Therapy!
Entranced by the construction flinging token game.
Catching "popcorn" (ping-pong balls) in a pot.
As close as he'd get to the Beloved Bob the Builder (TM) and Scoop (the bulldozer):
Jamie was drenched in sweat as he spent his 28 tokens exclusively on the basketball speed-shooting game. Made up for Charlie's pizza consumption, too!
Postscript: This evening, while Jack and I were at his first private Fr. horn lesson, Charlie waited until our sitter was diverted to Tim to snag the last (and his second) cupcake. Jamie was most aggrieved, as the Crab Who Didn't Get a Cupcake Tonight.
Guest Blogger Jack on Day 2 of Trailblazer Camp
We got to go kayaking. We made leather bracelets. We learned about First Aid. We had lunch (CATERED). We had to wait for 30-minutes and were late 30-minutes for swimming and got kicked out early and got yelled at by the Camp Director. Then we played Capture-the-Flag.
Because you all care:
About Today's OB Appointment.
Being duly conditioned by Life with the Sand Crab, I arrived with Jamie (the blistery crablet) in tow, a full 40 minutes ahead of my appointment time.
No good deed goes unpunished as the LT doc entered the room a full 53 minutes after my appointment time. Needless to say, he didn't encounter a soft-shelled crab queen but rather an overboiled, tough, salty, and sarcastic one.
Have gained <5 pounds thus far (but oh, how those chili fries from the DER are calling my name).
BP 118/63 (that would be excellent).
Baby heartrate normal. Belly measured right at 31/32.
LT Doc was unimpressed with my daily nosebleeds (which was the best question I could summon, with my 5th crablet).
Yay, LLGA!
Being duly conditioned by Life with the Sand Crab, I arrived with Jamie (the blistery crablet) in tow, a full 40 minutes ahead of my appointment time.
No good deed goes unpunished as the LT doc entered the room a full 53 minutes after my appointment time. Needless to say, he didn't encounter a soft-shelled crab queen but rather an overboiled, tough, salty, and sarcastic one.
Have gained <5 pounds thus far (but oh, how those chili fries from the DER are calling my name).
BP 118/63 (that would be excellent).
Baby heartrate normal. Belly measured right at 31/32.
LT Doc was unimpressed with my daily nosebleeds (which was the best question I could summon, with my 5th crablet).
Yay, LLGA!
Tim, not to be outdone, throws his hat into the skin-oddity game...
Tim has some sort of weird bug-bite or maybe a boil right at his throat/clavicle. Angry-looking (both Tim and the lesion).
Meanwhile, Jamie is monitoring his "itchy-ness level" and giving -- kid you not -- on the half-hour updates. I know more about the level of histamine in his dermal layers than about the traffic and weather!!
At this point, I'm averting my eyes from Jack and Charlie.
Meanwhile, Jamie is monitoring his "itchy-ness level" and giving -- kid you not -- on the half-hour updates. I know more about the level of histamine in his dermal layers than about the traffic and weather!!
At this point, I'm averting my eyes from Jack and Charlie.
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