April Fools...not the day, the crablets.

We had a super-great day with no shrieking, no hitting, no weird medical malady-ing, and no peeing on the floor.




April Fool!





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I have my very own conficker worms (plural): the crablets. And, yes, LLGA has joined the ranks in full. And, yes, my conficker worms were indeed activated on April 1st.

In an ongoing effort to make every burden (big and small) part of my Lenten reflections, here is a litany:



For the huge-[shell-fanny] canker sore on my tongue, making every /s/ and /t/ sound excruciating to produce and giving the CQ a slight lisp in time for a meeting with the Superintendent...
Send GMK for OTC remedies.

For Jack's tardy notice to Castle drivers/shoppers of his Science Project materiel needs...
Save the Crablet.

For GMK's cluelessness about where Building 6 at Naval Hospital is located, despite her many, many trips to said Hospital...
Grant the Crab Queen more patience (and a way of explaining directions that does not include /s/ and /t/ blends).

For Jack's Psychiatry appointment (during which GMK ratted him out for pill-hiding)...
Shield the Crablet from the wrath of his prescribing doctor -- and his adult relatives.

For Jack's wholly inaccurate reporting that he "needs a $14 ball of styrofoam" (that's out of stock at Michael's)...
Save the Crablet (while the CQ writes the Science teacher that he'll be turning it in after Spring Break for 1/2 credit).

For Jack's broken AT device (portable word processor)...
Intercede with the District OT who thinks "just charge it longer" is a solution to its habitual crashing.

For Jack's poor grade in Advisory...
Save the Crablet by having him WRITE IN HIS PLANNER.

For the silly clerks who told me that I couldn't come to the Superintendent's meeting with LLGA...
Grant the CQ patience that is normally in reserve for use with GMK.

For the silly clerk who insisted that I nurse LLGA in a special (and wholly inconvenient and musty and distracting) nursing mother's room that required traversing hill and dale and photo copiers and legions of clerks...
Grant the CQ the last drops of patience and requisition some more on back/order.

For the Crab Queen, who despite nursing fiasco and extraordinary efforts required to render LLGA napping precisely by 10 a.m., was seated with slumbering baby only to sit 12 minutes with 30 other folks and only to have an assistant superintendent pop into the conference room to say with a capital-h tone in the first word, "He is on the move, coming down the other hall and will be here in a minute or two."...
Help the CQ's eyes to eventually return from the top inside of her skull to their normal location. (Help the Director of Student Services forget CQ's Superior Eye-rolling Skills before tonight's Public Forum).

For the Superintendent, who invited a representative of special education to a meeting to discuss spending Federal Stimulus dollars on Title I programs (which ought to include serving students with disabilities) and then looking perplexed when I gave input about including the needs of students with disabilities when spending said dollars...
Let him (small /h/) make wise decisions -- at least about who to invite to his next brainscratching meeting.

For Timothy, who had dirty PE clothes to add to the mix as well as a wretched mood and log of "moderate day" (earning one Oreo (TM) and keeping that wretched mood intact into the evening hours)...
Save your Crablet and his disintegrating PE clothes.

For Jamie's harness going off at the most inopportune times (including 5 events during baseball practice), for Jamie having a Minimum Day and talking incessantly upon his arrival home, for Jamie's harness that is down to only 2 sets of "buttons" (electrodes?) to cover 8 more days, and for Jamie's NASTY pink-eye-looking eyes (for which there is no appointment available and which are potentially going to "spread like wildfire through the family")...
Spare the Crablet and the call center folks of PDS Heart, Inc.

For the District site (school of residence) that thinks that Timothy can only be offered elective courses in Engineering and Computers...
For the District site (in feeder pattern of his current District school of attendance) that thinks Timothy can only be served in Drama...
Don't make me call your boss. (Too late).

For both Hondas choosing this day to be on fumes...
Sigh.

For the love of a softshell, please let our nation's First Couple cease and desist the giving of techno-gifts to world leaders and long-time allies. I live in a crumbling sand castle and giving the Queen of England an iPod would not have crossed even my crabby mind...
Grant creativity and class. ("If you can find it on the shelf at Wal-Mart, it's probably not going to represent").

For the adult drivers to make 4 trips out of the house between 4 and 6 p.m. in order to shuttle J-crabs to practice, to warm-up for a game, from practice, and to watch the game...
Sigh.

For LLGA, who chose to have a diaper blow-out on GMK's Watch...
Help all the castle inhabitants, and additionally and most especially, the Diaper Manufacturers of America. (While we're on this subject, let us dearly hope that industry is recession-resistant or I'm in a real world of hurt).

For Tim, who had a toe injury that turned into toe-nail clipping (wherein he pummeled the in-home therapists rather than the usual and customary target of his toe-nail clipping wrath) followed by a toe cleaning and bandaging...
Save the toe. (okay, that was melodramatic).

For Charlie's random and unusually aggressive tantrum which begat a peeing-on-the-carpet in front of me...
Render the carpet freshened and, we beseech, make today a better day.