We bumped into a former Vision Therapist, who ooh'ed, ahh'ed over Tim and then gasped over the pink buggy. It (the outing not the buggy) went rapidly downhill from here. (Ed. note: Think WARNING: Steep Grade Ahead!)
First, Jack ran the cart into the back of Tim's ankle. In the main front aisle (near check-out lanes).
"OWWWWW!!!!!!!! I'm hurt! I'm hurt!" [Think of Austin Powers movie, "I'm very badly injured!"]
Alarming scores of other shoppers, who covered ears, recoiled in horror, or grabbed for their small children. Not garnering the attention of any Target employees, however.
Second, Tim proceeded to seek revenge by drooling and touching Jack's head throughout the rest of the shop.
Third, I had one buggy and one shopping cart and 3 children. And a shopping list.
Fourth, Tim waited until we were as far from the entrance as possible to announce (again, in a loud, booming voice) "I have to use the RESTROOM!!!" Loud, booming and urgent voice if I am specific. Which I almost always feel the need to be. I dispatched the Voice and the wet, annoyed pate belonging to his long-suffering brother to the front and quickly conducted a purchase in Electronics for Jamie's birthday. [They didn't have exactly what I sought, may I note].
Fifth, I could not gain easy access to the TP shelves for price-comparison and selection because there was a gaggle of red-shirted Target employees having some sort of training/meeting/free-for-all in that area. Argh! This delay afforded Tim more motive and opportunity to vex Jack further.
Sixth, and most upsetting to the CQ, the Goose Island root beer shelf was EMPTY.
Oops, I lied. MOST upsetting was the utter and complete absence of anything Easter-related that I came to procure. No plastic eggs, no nasty-plastic grass, no candy, no ostentatious pastel basket (for LLGA's first Easter), no special-request Starburst jelly beans, and no APC-ordered Reese's peanut butter eggs.
I felt the need to tell the cashier, "no, we didn't find everything we wanted" and pulled a Big Sled Dog stunt by announcing in a too-loud voice that I may have to "boycott Target" if they cannot stock a bit better. [Jack informed me in a too-loud and far-too-soothing voice that I was being "dramatic" and that our cart did contain quite a few items that were, apparently, in stock and locatable.
Fortunately, we had Pate Plans for the evening, offering us a diversion AND affording this blog a highlight.
APC and Pate fetched take-out from Mamma Mia's, which was Yummy and met my Good Friday Lenten requirements. The boys always love a visit from Pate.
Not sure why Jamie donned the ears for this photo. Oh, wait, yes I do! Every Easter I remind the 6'7" Pate of his tour of duty as the Easter Bunny (complete suit provided by Patty Susan in Japan) for our neighborhood. And every Easter Pate gently, oh-so-gently, claims to have no recollection of such a festive and hysterical event.Lucy was quite fascinated by (or perhaps a bit suspicious of) his facial hair.
We also had a Forced French horn Performance.
Why o why does everyone need to stick their hands in it?!And we celebrated the end of a month of cardiac monitoring!
No more wires for Jamie!
The CQ looks positively GIDDY.
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