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So, after several hours of labor and just after the epidural started to make my right leg heavy, warm, and then wholly immobile (with a wandering tendency to make its way to the edge of the bed, causing me to ask -- nay, BEG -- GMK to move it back before it leapt like a lemming to the floor), I arrived upon a simply GENIUS idea. Sadly, the timing was less than ideal.
Here it was: Open the LLGA's naming rights up to Corporate (or Private with the proper background vetting) Sponsorship!
BRILLIANT! thought I.
With my relatively underutilized business school Marketing coursework bubbling up to the surface under the influence of whatever-the-heck that handsome anesthesiologist pumped into my intra-vertebral space, I rattled off (to GMK and the nurse) the following yield management scheme:
* For the present value of one year of 2026 tuition at a private, liberal-arts school in the North Suburbs of Chicago = middle name!
* For the present value of two years of 2026 tuition at a private, liberal-arts school (likewise situated) = first name!
* For the present value of four years (with an option on a fifth!) of 2026 tuition at a private, liberal arts blah-blah = as many names as you like to produce a fully-named baby!!
Sand Crab, when I mentioned my too-late idea, nevertheless thought it AWESOME and complimented me on my unbelievable AWESOMENESS. (He also asked me to quick, call Petco..."Petco Allbritton's not so bad...we've got to consider deep pockets.")
Aunt Patty Cake, when she arrived and learned of my epidural-induced idea, noticeably paled. I think she asked me not to repeat it, but (see below) that was soooo not a reasonable request.
(In the end, as we're on the hook for that college tuition, we named her our ownselves).
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This testimonial just in!!!
"And Mary-Eilis Lucija is a wonderful name."
-Peggy J., San Marcos, CA
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Out of worry that merely posting this clarification wouldn't be noticed among the fabulously witty "gloss":
LLGA is pronounced as follows:
L...L...G...A (like an acronym).
Folks left to their own devices may be tempted to pronounce it "uhl-gah" but that would be like a hefty Viking woman who beats her husband around the head and neck. While that image may indeed befit LLGA's mother, LLGA is but a wee lass and we have hopes of a bit more dainty and lady-like behavior from her.
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Factoid: Birth Certificate Guy's Reaction to Birth Certificate Paperwork Submission By the Crab Queen.
The trolless who used to badger new moms about completing birth certificate paperwork (and indeed, refused to start Jamie's birth certificate process until we'd figured out a middle name midway on day 3 of his life) has been replaced by a fairly amiable fellow.
For the record, he did not bat an eyelash at the hyphenated first name of LLGA.
For the record, however, he had a borderline panic attack about the job title of "surface warfare officer" for Ben. Mind you, this is a legitimate Navy description with a coded designator "1110" of an unrestricted line officer.
He came back and played "Let's come up with a different job title"...I said, "Staff officer?" Nope. "How's about "Strategist?" Nope. "What about "Joint Staff Lackey?" He chose to ignore that offering and countered, "XO? CO??" I said, "Been there, already have the t-shirt, and moved on to "Sand-Box Macho Navy Guy". While not the trollette, this type of banter exceeded his job classification.
We left it that he'd give "Surface Warfare Officer" (my first suggestion) a try and will call me (what a threat) if it doesn't fly past his boss. (Whom, I presume, is the former birth certificate lady promoted beyond her stunningly scary competency).
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Okay, so let's head back into the labor/delivery suite:
Fast-forwarding through the tremendously exciting part, we arrive at LLGA hitting the scale.
Lo and behold: 7 pounds, 11 (point-oh!) ounces.
This amazingly cool weight led me to repeat (for the benefit of the handsome, yet sticky-out-ears doctor and his medical student sidekick) my brilliant college saving (er, funding) program idea.
Ending with, "Wouldn't 'Convenience Store' be a great option?"
To which someone (maybe cute doc, maybe APC -- the details are a bit fuzzy) hollered out "Her name can be SLURPIE"!
(Hullo, people, we can name her one thing and CALL her something completely different...can't you generalize? That's the best part: Convenience Store Allbritton (weight 7/11) could go by Slurpie...or still "Lucy"!)
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Seriously...
Mary-Eilis Lucija
Correct pronunciations in question:
Ay-lish
Lou-see-yah
She is the 5th generation Mary.
Eilis is Gaelic for Elizabeth, which is Ben's Grandma Ruth's middle name and Erin's middle name, too.
Lucija is Slovenian.
We like the name Lucy. Maybe because it was our first parish as newlyweds in Middletown, RI. Maybe because it was the parish (same one) in which Ben completed RCIA years later. Maybe because we think "Lucy Allbritton" is a darn cute name.
And one that keeps our streak of "/ee/"-ending names for our progeny.
"Lucy Mary" just didn't cut it, especially after pret-near 15 years between my first pregnancy and seventh. (Although Zita and Wanda really were tempting, Patty Grace).
Cognizant of the many varied opinions on the topic, I do hope that you'll all give her name a chance to grow on you ... and Lucy a chance to grow into her name.
1 comment:
When are you going to announce the lucky winner of the ultra-competive "Pick the Baby's birthdate" pool?
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